This post has basically nothing to do with babies, generally or specifically, but if that’s what you’re here for, let me at least post a picture for your baby fix. Keep on reading if you’re interested in my ramblings about mental health, letting go, and KonMari’ing the mind.
Figuring stuff out! She’s such a clever one.
I mentioned in an earlier post that the tidying I was doing at home seemed to be seeping into other areas of my life as well. Two of the major areas are my mental well-being and my physical health. I’ll be writing about the physical health related stuff later, but the mental and emotional well-being issue has been on my mind a lot lately. It’s been really interesting to me how the KonMari Method has helped me let go of other things in my life that have been weighing me down– not just my physical possessions.
Pulling back from social media was a big part of this mental cleanse, but I’ve also been doing other things, not intentionally as part of my tidying, but they do seem somehow related. I’ve been watching less television, opting instead to use the precious minutes after Bug is in bed to read, or even clean the kitchen. To do something productive, something that makes me feel better about my life or my home or my world more generally. This isn’t to say that my kitchen is clean before I go to bed every night, or that I don’t still spend multiple evenings a week vegging in front of one screen or another. But generally I feel more productive, more interested in engaging the world. My generalized anxiety has been lower, too.
My anxiety about some specific things has been somewhat higher, but it is because I have chosen to take the time to address those issues and try to resolve them. I started seeing a therapist for help with the issues, and it has been really helpful. It is uncomfortable because the unpleasantness that makes me feel like I need a therapist is now on my mind pretty consistently, but I’m hopeful that I’m making progress. My therapist said that I need to come to terms with the fact that ‘resolution’ may not mean that things are pretty or happy, but that I’ll be ok with them. It was funny to me how easy that concept was to accept, and I really do credit the KonMari Method for that mental shift (at least partially– I suppose I had to be in a place where I was ready to accept it, too). I’m becoming really good at letting go.
I know I’m being really vague, but the topics at issue are really sensitive. Though I desperately want to write about them in more detail, I would be horrified if they got back to certain people. And since I don’t really know who reads this blog and when, I’ll just have to be vague. I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a memoir, for cathartic reasons if nothing else. I’d like to try to publish, but there are so many issues there just like with blogging. I guess the thing to do is write it, and see where it goes from there! I have this tendency to worry about the future before I’ve even done with the present. Maybe that’s another thing to let go of…